Funny, but true service customer stories.

[David]

I am collecting funny, but true service customer stories. You know the ones like the man who told me "There is a jerk in my car while I am driving." I knew him well enough to respond. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." If you have a good story please email me at davesbook2002@yahoo.com , I might be able to use it in a book I am writing. I have been with dealership service departments
for 16 years and have a great number of my own, but would like to hear more.
Thank you, David

[robc]

Since I can't credit the source, I'll just post these. I ran these complaint/correction stories in my newsletter a few months back as examples of what shouldn't appear on an R.O.

Complaint: Truck handles funny.
Correction: Truck warned to straighten up, drive right, and be serious.

Complaint: Evidence of oil leak on front engine cover.
Correction: Evidence removed.

Complaint: Something loose under dash.
Correction: Something tightened under dash.

Complaint: Right valve cover seeping oil.
Correction: Valve cover seepage normal. Left cover lacks normal seepage.

Complaint: Dead bugs all over windshield, grille and bumper.
Correction: Live bugs on backorder.

Complaint: Door chime unbelievably loud.
Correction: Chime volume set to more believable level.

Complaint: Using parking brake causes the brakes to stick.
Correction: That's what it is there for!

Complaint: Driving lights inoperative.
Correction: Lights always inoperative in OFF.

Complaint: Engine missing.
Correction: Engine found under hood after brief search.

Complaint: Climate control hums.
Correction: Reprogrammed climate control with words.


------------------
** Rob, Editor WD&S **
Help is only a message post away!
robc@dealersedge.com

[warr_wiz]

I have 2 that come right to the top. First, when I was out on the line I actually got an RO that stated, "Customer states car assumes the features of the Batmobile." Fantastic, and it was a no charge option to boot!
I also had an RO that said loud squeel when vehicle started in am. Line #2 said check trans fluid leak. Well turned out the cat was under the hood lying on or around the belt area and the trans fluid was blood.
Just recently I had a customer call on a cell phone. She was outside the dealership in the car. She could not get out as the door was locked and the power door locks did not work. It took almost 5 minutes to convince her to just move the lever by hand.
I will be thinking of more and I will get back to you.

[flyboy]

Well, I am not certain this is the forum for this, but alas, my experiance today needs to be shared.

Our customer sat in front of our service door this am, desperatly pressing her "home access" button on her overhead console. Infuriated the garage door to my service dept would not open for her, she dialed the dealerships number and insisted on speaking to our GM! He calls me, we both walk out to see her in the seat, mad as hell, claiming "this is what happens at home as well"!

Took us quite some time to really convince her that while the button was there, her remote was not, and it was never going to open my service door!

[whatsis]

hey warrwiz and flyboy: what was the hair color of these two customers?

[Ted@ADP]

This experience proves that truth is stranger, (and funnier) than fiction.
I was a service advisor at a Honda dealership. A beater 78 Civic was towed in with a broken timing belt.
The customer asked for a quote on how much to "fix it up." After I told him, he vowed to think it over and went to drive away in his beater 71 Corolla. Alas, it would not start. So he opened the hood, fiddled with the battery cables, and it started. He let the hood drop. But the fenders were so rusty
that the force of the hood dropping pushed the front end down far enough to allow the hood to contact the battery posts.
The battery exploded, spraying the customer's face with acid. I rushed out and guided him to the detail bay.
The lot man, hosing down a car, responded to my instructions of spraying the customer's face by turning and spraying him from about 20 feet away.
He didn't even think it was necessary to remove his other hand from his pocket!
After the crisis was over, I returned to the service counter to laugh hysterically. About five minutes later, the customer, now water soaked, happily said goodbye, reconnected the posts to his battery (now missing a top,) and drove away!

[DMOORE]

We are a large shop and employ technicians from different countries- I guess you could say are challenged with the english language at times. A repair came in complaining sunroof drains are clogged. The tech blew out the sunroof channels, logged on the ERO system and stated "Car works fine after blow job".

[tjsmith]

I have heard this Customer's complaint:

"My car rides rough over rough roads, & smooth over smooth roads."

I also had a customer who was about to have a fit about his RH Rear window would not go up, & needed a motor, & would pay extra to have one shipped over night. I finally found one for the gentlman, but it was going to take 2 days to get it here. If he called me once he called me a 100 times to see if the motor had made it. It came in & he picked it up, & the next day his wife brought the motor back, & said her husband was to embarrassed to bring it back, becaused the window lock button on the main window switch was pressed.

[tjsmith]

Just had one come in here today:
Customer Complaint:
"My Kool-Aid light is on"

[MADMAX]

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died."
After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She says, "How often do I have to do that?"